People always ask me about my story or what shaped me into the person I am right now. So I figured I could share with you guys as well because I’m sure you guys are curious.
If I start from the beginning, I could say that I have always been a pretty responsible child. I had to be some of the things I witnessed growing up shaped my thoughts on relationships should work. My father was very abusive to my mom. He was unsupportive of anything she did. The kind of guy to take the battery out of your car when your going to school or throw your keys in the backyard when it was night. And of course hit her, scream at her and brake her down.
I’m 5 years older than my brother so there was alot I tried to shield him from. The beatings I took for leaving a dish in the sink or for my brother because he was far to young to understand that everything in our lives at that point was subject to beatings.
In addition to that I was raped in middle school by a boy who was supposed to be my friend. I had a bit of a mental breakdown which resulted in me not being in school for the rest of Middle school. I was worked on intensely to get through what had happened to me. But the thing that stuck by me the most was the fact that my mom stuck by me and my father told me he thought the whole thing was a lie I thought up for attention.
My parents got separated and divorced shortly after. Living with my mom and my brother away from him was beyond liberating. I had a freedom that I wasn’t use to and of course I abused it by doing things that were out of character. Drinking, partying, sex, and smoking were a few of my pretty reckless things.
I met my ex husband at 17 and everything changed for me. He seemed like the right guy, the kind guy to the point where my mom would joke about him being whipped.
I got pregnant fall after we graduated high school. I was in love with Aries before I met him. I remember playing a perfect circle to my belly and he would just kick and kick. Being so ill during his pregnancy made me grow up in a way I never thought I could. I was in the hospital 8 times that year due to my kidneys having a blockage. It kept me with over 103 fevers. I worried if I would lose Aries during all of this since all my doctors wanted to just focus on my health and not both of us.
I got married at 19 and had Aries 2 months after. He was beautiful and a happy boy. During this time my ex started to verbally and physically abuse me. It lasted our whole marriage. Aries got diagnosed with autism and my ex never dealt with it. I raised Aries and Arielle by myself. My ex joined the army and we moved to TN.
It was hard to deal with the controlling me, the abuse and try to raise my kids. He knew I had nothing and no one but him. He cheated many times and as a result to everything I ate and I ate.
This went on for almost 8 years until he threatened to kill me in my sleep. I took charge and told him i couldn’t do this anymore. The hardest moment of my life was to look in my children’s faces and realize that if I stayed with him they most likely wouldn’t remember me if he had killed me. So I had to break the cycle for them. So last April 1st we got separated he got out of the army and moved back to NJ.
Last july after a pretty stressful visit to NJ for the kids a friend told me I needed to check out raja hot yoga and take a billy class. I did the next morning at a 915. Went to the studio, paid and took a class from billy. I was still overweight, and very unflexible I listened to him preach from his heart while we did the raja series. He talked about needing to let go and start fresh. And that your life is just beginning and not over as if he knew me. I came back the next day at the same time and got my first unlimited month.
During my 8 months of going to raja I have become flexible, opened my heart, gained more patience, became more spiritual, lost 57lbs and 6 inches, and above all else I learned to live and love my life. I can say that yoga saved my life. But specifically raja hot yoga gave me my life back. I made a family there and friends. They have gotten me through the toughest part of my life and got me to love myself. Words can’t even describe everything I have gone through with them but what I know I always use to say that in one hour I get my therapy, my church, my workout and as many hugs you could take.
No matter all that i have gone through I have become a stronger person from it all. And I can’t wait to inspire others to get through the hardest parts of their lives as well.
Till we meet again